


drinks and feelings

by asterphobia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:36:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterphobia/pseuds/asterphobia
Summary: cas and sam get drunk.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	drinks and feelings

It's ten pm on February 14th, and Castiel can't sleep. Sam and Dean went to bed early, and Cas has been up too late for too long to ever get his circadian rhythm back to normal. So, he spends his nights researching, or watching TV, or thinking about the things he tries not to think about. 

One of those things is Sam. 

Sam has always fascinated him, even when he was an angel and essentially incapable of anything more than shallow emotion. When he became human, though, he started registering more and more that his friendship with Sam was more than that. He found himself thinking about Sam, in ways that he hadn't thought of anyone before. Like how he wanted Sam to feel for him what he described feeling for Jess, for Madison, for Sarah. How he wanted to kiss Sam. How he wanted Sam to look at him the way Dean looked at Benny. 

Cas shakes his head, trying to clear those thoughts. He knows they're useless, because there's no way Sam would feel like that towards him. 

So, Cas does what he always does on the nights when he knows there's no chance of clearing his head if he's just stuck in bed staring into the darkness.

He walks the hallways of the bunker, dim red light casting creepy shadows on every corner. Hand lightly trailing over the walls, Cas loses himself in his thoughts until the third (or fourth, he doesn't really know) time he passes Sam's room. Something loudly thuds inside, and he hears a distinct grunt, like someone being hit.

Cas bursts in, expecting to find a demon, a ghost, or any other type of otherworldly creature that Sam and Dean hunt on the daily. Instead, it's just Sam, blinking up at Cas from his bedroom floor, hair wild and tangled in his sheets, one long leg still cocked over the corner of his bed so his foot rests on the mattress.

"Sam? Are you okay?" Cas asks, offering a hand while Sam clumsily works himself out of the knots of fabric. 

"Yeah, Cas, I'm fine. Just a nightmare." Sam takes Cas's hand and stands up wobblily. This close, Cas can see the dark circles under his eyes even in the limited light, and a pang of sympathy shoots through his heart.

"What happened?" Cas asks. "In your nightmare."

Sam stares at him for a beat. "Nothing. It's not important."

The two stare at each other for a second, and then Sam sits down on his bed, scrubbing a hand over his face. He hasn't shaved in a few days, Cas can tell from the stubble decorating his cheeks and jawline. He resists the urge to wonder how that scrubble would feel against his lips. 

"Do you know what today is, Cas?" Sam asks. It seems like a strange question, but Cas answers honestly.

"No. Should I?"

"No, I guess not. But it's Valentine's Day. Y'know, the day when people who are - who are in love celebrate."

"What do they celebrate?" Cas asks, sitting down beside him.

Sam laughs without humor. "Fuck if I know. Being in love, I guess?"

Cas considers this. "What do people who are not in love do?"

This earns a genuine grin from Sam. "Drink, usually."

They sit in silence for a second. 

"Cas, do you wanna go to a bar with me?" Sam doesn't look at him when he asks this.

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"To.. drink?"

"Yeah." 

"Yes. Very much," Cas says without thinking, and immediately regrets it. He hasn't gotten drunk very many times, and he's not sure he wants to.

"Then let's go. I know where Dean keeps the Impala's keys. He and Benny are sound asleep anyway, that hunt yesterday wore them out."

"Should I.. change? Should you?" Cas gestures to the fact that they're both dressed in pajamas.

"Huh. Yeah, we should. Go change, and I will too." Sam turns around and begins rifling through his drawers, and Cas takes that as his cue to leave.

Cas changes into a maroon t-shirt and jeans, briefly trying to do something, _anything_ with his hair, but quickly giving up when Sam loudly knocks on his door.

"You ready?" Sam asks.

"Yes. Let's go." Cas says. Sam takes in Cas's clothes, and a strange expression flashes over his face, but it's gone as quickly as it arrives.

Sam, despite being half out of it and clearly sleep deprived, looks _really_ good. He's wearing a red-and-yellow checked flannel that goes nicely with his brown hair and hazel eyes and light blue jeans that make Cas wish they were going out like this under a different context. 

\--------

They pull up to the bar, Cas appraising the place as Sam finds a parking spot. It's clearly busy, and Cas is starting to think this might be the worst decision he's made all week. What was he thinking, volunteering to go get drunk with the man he's secretly in love with, especially on Valentine's Day? Sam probably thinks Cas is just here to find someone to be with for a night like Dean does. 

On the other hand, he's got no intention of confessing to Sam anytime soon, or ever, so this might be his perfect cover.

Sam stops the car in a shadier-than-Cas-would-like section of the bar's parking lot, almost directly behind the place. There are very few cars back there, and Cas is slightly suspicious one of the horror villains Dean likes to watch so much might jump them before they even make it into the bar.

He kind of hopes they do.

Unfortunately, Sam and Cas make it into the bar just fine, and Sam makes a beeline for the bartender, gesturing for two shots of whiskey. They arrive impressively quick for such a crowded place, and as Sam drinks, Cas takes the opportunity to examine the population of the bar.

Most people are sitting around the edge of the bar or at the tables on the walls, but there's a good sized portion of people in the middle on the dance floor, moving clumsily to a karaoke rendition of Wannabe by an artist identified as the Spice Girls by a man with a bra draped over his shoulder and no shoes, one sock turned inside out.

Sam nudges Cas's shot towards him, and Cas downs the burning liquid, wincing at the way it warms up his throat and fuzzes up his brain almost immediately. 

"What kind of drinks do you like?" Sam asks, leaning towards him and almost shouting over the noise.

"I don't know. I don't drink that much," Cas replies, raising his voice to Sam's volume. Sam grins.

"I guess we'll just have to find out then, huh?" He shouts, winking at Cas. He feels himself blush.

"I guess so," Cas assents, and Sam waves the bartender over, ordering a variety of drinks that Cas doesn't understand the names of.

\------

Several fruity drinks later that Cas doesn't believe could have been more than 2% alcohol, Cas is starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, and Sam is too. Neither of them have had enough to be drunk, per se, but neither of them are driving anytime soon either.

"Sam. We should probably stop. We still have to go home at some point." Cas claps a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam makes a face at him. "Lame. I thought that stick came out of your ass when you fell." 

Sam takes a shot of tequila. Cas rolls his eyes. 

"You sound like Dean. No more drinking unless it's water, okay? I'm going to the bathroom." Cas signals the bartender to cut Sam off, and leaves a whining Sam behind to stumble to the restroom.

The door swings shut behind him, and Cas locks it before running cold water into the sink and splashing it over his face. The alcohol is taking a toll on him, but he's regretting this less and less. He and Sam have actually talked tonight, talked and laughed together and not worried about angels or demons or monsters. He enjoys talking with Sam, and he wishes their lives would allow room for it more.

Even if he can't be with Sam the way he wants to be, Sam is his best friend, and that's the most important thing in the world to him. 

As Cas leaves the restroom, he bumps into a larger man wearing a blue t-shirt and ripped jeans. 

"Sorry," Cas mumbles, but the man stops him.

"Hey, no problem. I'm Alex, what's your name?" Alex's smile is weird, not like Sam's genuine smile. Cas doesn't trust it, but he also doesn't trust his vision.

"Castiel." Cas tries to go around him, but Alex claps a hand to his shoulder and it stays there. Cas glances down at his hand, and then back up.

"Let me buy you a drink, huh? I'm always looking to make new friends." Alex winks at him.

"All of my friends are dead." Cas informs him, and Alex's smile falters in what Cas assumes is confusion before returning.

"I guess you need some new ones too, then." Alex laughs, but it's forced. Cas doesn't like him, and all he wants is to go back to Sam.

"No, I don't. I think I'm going to go now." Cas tries to move, but Alex's fingers are digging into his shoulder.

"Nah. I think you should come with me." Alex's voice is no longer humorous. 

"Actually, he's staying right here." A voice from behind Cas draws both of their attentions. Sam is standing in the hallway, clearly sober enough to understand what's going on. He's drawn himself up to his full height, something he rarely does anymore.

Alex lets go of Cas's shoulder, and Cas stumbles a little bit. 

"Who are you?" 

"I'm his friend."

"He said all his friends are dead."

"You're the only one who's about to be dead here, buddy. Get out before I kick you out." Sam's voice is low. Alex seems to decide he's not going to give up that easy.

"I'm not scared of you." Alex steps closer to Sam, and anger flashes in Sam's eyes. Cas hasn't seen Sam get angry in a long time.

"You should be." Sam says, and punches Alex square in the face. Blood spurts from his nose, and Alex runs off with a string of curses in his wake.

"Cas. Are you okay?" Sam turns to him, grabbing his face between his hands. "We should get out of here. I'm so sorry that guy was creeping on you."

"It's fine, Sam. I'm fine, but I agree, I think we should leave." Cas shakes his head, trying desperately to clear the fog of alcohol that somehow Sam has already shaken.

"Okay. Come on." Sam weaves Cas's arm around his waist and snakes his own under Cas's shoulders, helping him out the door that Alex fled out of.

"Our tab-" Cas protests, but Sam cuts him off. 

"Already paid. I paid it when I noticed that guy follow you in."

"Oh." Cas lets Sam lead him outside.

They reach the shadiest part of the back lot of the bar when Sam stops him.

"Hey, Cas. Can I... tell you something?"

"Always." The dim lights hanging off the bar's roof illuminate Sam's cheekbones, the twist of his mouth as he nervously studies Cas.

"My nightmare today, it was - it was about you."

"What?" Cas is confused. Why would Sam be having nightmares about him. Sam's gone through so many nightmare-worthy things, Cas thinks he should be the least of Sam's concerns.

"It was kind of like this." Sam continues. "Us. Alone. And I was telling you something, and you ... I guess you didn't agree. Or you didn't like what I said. So you left."

Sam stares at Cas, asking a silent question that Cas doesn't have the answer to.

"I'd never leave you, Sam." Cas replies, because he doesn't know what else to say, and because it's the truth. "What did you tell me?"

"I, uh - I told you how I felt." Sam fidgets with his hands.

"And how did you feel?" Cas's heart is pounding, and he's not sure why.

"Like this," Sam says, and he grabs Cas's face and kisses him. 

Sam's lips are soft, and he tastes slightly of whiskey, and Cas finds himself leaning into the kiss. Sam's hair brushes his cheek, and Cas's hands find themselves around Sam's neck.

Sam pulls back sooner than Cas would like, and Cas chases the kiss briefly, rising up on his tiptoes.

"How do you feel?" Sam asks, voice quiet, and Cas breathes. 

"Like this." Cas pushes Sam back against the wooden walls of the bar and kisses him even harder. Sam's breath catches under him, and one of his hands tangles itself in Cas's hair and the other grabs at his hip.

As Sam's hand finds its way under his shirt, Cas begins to think this is the best decision he's ever made. 

\--------

Sam and Cas stumble into the bunker as the early morning light breaks, only to find Dean with his arms crossed sitting at the map table. He stands up as Sam and Cas nearly fall down the stairs, supporting each other and trying their best to not make eye contact with Dean, who looks rather like a stern mother.

"Where the hell have y'all been? What did you do with Baby? And are you... drunk?" Dean asks incredulously.

"Not anymore." Cas smirks, and Sam giggles before clearing his throat and straightening up. 

"We went to a bar." Sam tells Dean matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I got that, but where the hell is Baby?" Dean snaps. Sam's face drops.

"Oh. Well, we were a bit too smashed to drive so ... we walked. Back. From the bar." Sam says sheepishly. Dean just stares at him.

Cas chimes in. "We were trying to be responsible."

"Respons-" Dean chokes, running a hand over his hair. "So the two of you steal Baby, go get hammered at some bar, do God-knows-what-" at this, Dean eyes their rumpled clothes and apparently connects some dots. "Oh my God. You two stole Baby, got hammered, did _each-other_ and then walked home and left Baby at the bar?"

Cas considers Dean's assessment. "Technically, I did Sam, not the other w-"

"Cas. Please shut the fuck up." Dean looks like he could cry. "I'm going to go get Baby. Count yourselves lucky I don't kick both of you out of the bunker right now."

The door slams behind Dean a second later, and Sam and Cas barely have time to breathe before Benny walks in.

"Hey, fellas. How was your Valentine's Day?" He asks cheerfully, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "And where's Dean?"

Sam and Cas look at each other, and start to laugh.


End file.
